Week 23 - UK

The Easter was here and all the days were spent in the house. So we had some undisturbed days. Mary Ann had her five months DTaP-IPV-Hib vaccination, the same as when she was 3 months. The strange thing is that this time she got a little temperature the next day after the vaccination. I gather that was why. So she eats a little less and we sat by her and tried to comfort her. The doctor appointment was a little different this time. The doctor made some examination of Mary Ann. Everything was fine. She asked us a couple of times if we had any questions. But is hard to think of any when everything goes so well. Luckily for us. Now Mary Ann was weighted to 4065g and is 59 cm long. That means that she soon will be able to go to the local swimming pool with us. Premature babies have to be 5kg heavy before they have enough fat on their body for the swimming pool. I look very much forward because that gives me the chance to do all sorts of things with her which is not possible on land.
Mary Ann is fine again after the vaccination it was just this little temperature and a swollen thigh where it was injected. She has a little cold. I hope she didn’t get my bad immune defence. As soon as she got sick I got sick my self as well. That is not practical. It worries me a bit to think about. I normally get sick as soon as someone else around me is sick. These days I fell as if Mary Ann and I just keep on infecting each other. For the third time since she was born I’m sick with bad throat, cough, and headache and so on.
I’m trying to prepare myself to go to work soon again. I have a doctor appointment next week. I gather he can tell me more about when I will be ready. I feel less pain now both in movement and in rest. The biggest issue is that I’m awful tired and my functions still fail in the middle of lifting, walking or something like that. Sometimes I wake up with for example a wrist that hurts so much that I have to have my hand on a pillow and sit still for some hours. And then I have days with only a couple of steps I can’t take for few moments. It is odd and frustrating. But it still works out fine when Neil is around. Then he can take over where I feel insufficiently. I think the biggest issue for me is that it is dangerous for me to lift Mary Ann in some situations. It is difficult for me to let Neil lift her when I’m able. But it needs to be like that because what if that is in that moment where my joints don’t want to work. Then I would drop her! Then I’m an even worse mum then when I let someone else lift her up. I really have to work with this feeling. The other day someone wanted to start Mary Ann’s mobile to entertain her. I snap at the poor women because I don’t want some stranger to do anything with my child. I’m not in doubt; that is because I have some issue I have to work with. Sometimes I’m very aware of my disabilities towards taking care of Mary Ann. That irritates me. I look forward for when I can do even more with her and for her. Until then I exercise my back for it to get stronger. And I enjoy the things I AM able to do with and for her.