090108 - UK

Addiction is the key word today. I’m addicted to Neil and Mary Ann, I think. I had an appointment with the rheumatologist today. In the same time Mary Ann and Neil went for a blood test. I could see them 20 metres away through several windows and I wanted badly to be with them. I was wondering if I got addicted to them. At first I found it perfect that they could go to the other side of the hospital in the same time as I had an appointment. But when I sat there looking at them far far away, I just wanted to be there with them. I have to appreciate the idea of Neil being there with her though, because I hate seeing someone sticking Mary Ann. Neil doesn’t mind. He’s just happy it’s not himself having the blood test. I rather have it myself.
Before all this Mary Ann had a heart scan again today. Once again it showed everything was okay. But they would like to make a new one in 6-8 weeks time to make sure that the pressure in both heart cambers are fine as well. Immature babies are often a little slower to adjust these things.
The rheumatologist finally gave me some standard medicine which I hope will help me in the next 3-4 months time. Today I had the answer I already kind of knew. My rheumatism has been server activated. I knew that because I felt it badly. For the last two years I wanted them to understand something is going on with my rheumatism. But it’s not before now after the birth that all the signs have been there. Even though it’s a tough message, it’s also a valuable one. Because when the rheumatism is active I can get medicine to stop it all. The pain is the same of curse not matter the message. But it has given me a hope of a change today. When my rheumatism is stabled with the medicine I can go back to work.
I might be adicted to the new medicine now and not to Neil and Mary Ann ...