021207 - UK

I’m doomed. I’m a selfish mum. I don’t want anyone else to take care of her anymore even though I know they do a better job then I can for the time being. I want her home now. Today I feel frustrated. It’s very difficult some days to organise everything with Mary Ann at the hospital and Cecilie and the dog at home. Actually it felt like chaos today. A friend had been so kind to have Cecilie for a sleepover with her two girls. Then we could have more time at the hospital with Mary Ann. But we had to drive Cecilie back and forward several times anyway both today and yesterday because Cecilie had misunderstood when she was supposed to go to football and because she forgot her things twice! That meant that we were totally stressed with Mary Ann at the hospital for the last meal. Unfortunately I’m sure that Mary Ann could feel it. She didn’t want to eat by bottle tonight and she was more difficult to calm down. I feel terrible about that. She did eat most by bottle on the earlier meals. So she is still in progress. Again today we spend some hours in my bed together. We both enjoyed that. For the second time she had to change into a bigger size nappy. Actually she is not big enough for a bigger nappy size wise but because of the large amount that is coming out of her small body now, we had to give her a bigger nappy from now on. She now uses the newborn size. She must be more than two kilos now since she was 1995g yesterday. It will be interesting to weigh her tomorrow.