141207 - UK

Today was the original date for c-section. I thought I would never forget this date but actually it was Neil reminding me. Strange to think about. I was alone with Cecilie today. She said that she wished Mary Ann was still in my tummy. Surprisingly I don’t feel like that any more. Because then we would not know her yet. And I am sure glad to know that fantastic girl.
I have been nervous that I would feel differently about Cecilie when I had my very own baby. And I do. But only in the sense as you do for a girl at 11 years old and a baby. I’m surprised to know that my feelings haven’t changed at all in that aspect to love Cecilie just as must as before. But mainly I was afraid I could give her the same attention. I’m sure it helps that I’m not a totally eager baby mum, who can’t think of anything else but this little perfect creator. Thought, I had to tell Cecilie to watch some telly tonight at the hospital. I couldn’t make Mary Ann eat and chat on with Cecilie in the same time. I felt sad about it. Of curse Cecilie took it nicely. It is a matter of remembering to tell her in a gentle way.

Mary Ann suddenly had a physiotherapist examination today. I’m sorry they didn’t tell us in forehand. Neil was where alone with her in the daytime and I didn’t come before the evening. I would have liked to be there. I wanted to ask something about her movements. Sometimes she pulls herself backwards so her back curves like a bow. Why is that? I have to ask the physiotherapist another day. Neil was told everything was fine though.

She has only gained 35 g since Monday. So now I’m afraid that the plan about next week and us staying there with her will not keep. We all think it’s because she use too much energy on sucking. So the staff gives her tube in the night to save her strength. Of curse we can’t give her tube at home. So we need her to be of the tube first.

By the way. I did ask the doctor about Mary Ann’s funny hole on her lower back. I thought it was that they call sacral cyste. The doctor said it is something called Fovea. But I think he got a wrong Latin word for it. Because if I translate what the doctor explained me to English. It must be something called spina bifida or just split spine. Mary Ann has the lightest one which shouldn’t course any problems.